awesome: car bombs
actually - not what i'm looking for, let's try that again:
Beautiful. I'm thirsty just thinking of them. Irish carbombs. Damn. Those are awesome. I defy you to tell me otherwise. It exists within a precious few libations whereupon you can have ample portions of cream, sugar, and beer; this is one such experience. Seriously - it's like a Frappacino on steroids. These drinks get bonus points for reminding me of the main drink of me and my friends in high school - the mudslide. Yes, you read that right. I can't believe I never got laid. "Hey girl, I've got a 750 of Kahlua and a pint of Dreyer's - let's make something happen. Where are you going?" Car bombs also get bonus points for the aggregate number of incurred blackouts I can attribute to their ingredients. Literally, I could wake up in Hanoi in some scuba gear after a long night on the car bomb train and not bat an eye. Not for the faint of heart.
sucks: actual bombs
Yes, surprisingly, despite the nightly wars I wage against my bank account and liver, I am not the largest fan of things that go boom. Call me crazy. These devices also indirectly led to the title of U2's album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, which features the song "Vertigo" and has caused a legion of dedicated fans to re-examine themselves. At least that led to this from South Park.
awesome/sucks: (tie) sake bombs, jager bombs
Wow. Just looking at those pictures give me the shakes. First things first, sake bombs. There are obviously the good parts: binge drinking, chopsticks, a universally accepted hint of racism usually presented by the typically lilly-white participants, which leads to snarky comments from the staff. All good things, to some degree. It's not all sunshine and lollipops with the sake bombs, however. The hangovers, for instance, are ungodly. I had one last year that felt like a skinhead in Doc Martens was systematically kicking my skull in... for four hours. Oh, and I was at work. I guess that's more a "me" problem than an overall problem. Then, of course, there are the participants themselves. Blazers, distressed jeans, leather watches - it's effectively a ringing indictment on the entire hipster movement (Editor's Note: I own all of the aforementioned articles of clothing). I happen to love sake bombing. It combines my love affair with alcohol with my passion for smashing my fist against tables and occasionally my unquenched desire for broken glass. I'm just saying that when fun begins, douchebags will follow.
Ah yes, speaking of douchebags.... jager bombs. A colorful cousin of the "Meathead Specials" or "Rocket Fuel" you may know vodka and Red Bulls as, I'm sure this little number of Jager and Red Bull could also go by the moniker "Date Rape in a Glass". Bust out your best striped shirt and enjoy the thrilling ride as the alcohol slows your body to a crawl and the Red Bull hurtles you through a windowpane; Alright! I once drank between 7 and 12 Red Bull vodkas at a casino in Las Vegas and stumbled out of the casino in broad daylight at 8am and tried to pawn my watch for more gambling money. Read that again. That's a true story. I could only imagine what would have happened had I substituted shitty well vodka with the hyperactive deer's blood that is Jagermeister. I probably would have pulled an Owen Wilson in Royal Tenenbaums, covering my face in Native American face paint before plowing a cherry red convertible into a beagle. Counterpoint: the drink is a key catalyst for this wonderful piece of work. Which is nice.
video link of the day: (courtesy erio) http://www.glum
Truly this is awesome because it sucks. I feel so bad for whoever's bar mitzvah that was. Videos like that don't make you a man, they haunt your dreams.
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